Faith and Grief

Faith is like a lens through which you experience all of life. Therefore, everything associated with your entire process, beginning to where you are now, will be viewed through the lens of your faith. When your experience does not agree with that which you have believed, a crisis of faith may occur. The most common myths that are reported to be problematic include:

1. A need to question God.
   “Why is God allowing this?” or “Why is God doing this?” are two of the most common questions often asked. Sadly, some people are taught that it is inappropriate to question God. Every faith tradition has stories in scripture that prove, on the other hand, that it is perfectly acceptable to question. Sooner or later, in every loving relationship, one will question the other.

2. Thinking your loss was caused by something you did or failed to do.
   It is normal to try and find an answer to the “why” question. In doing so, most people review their life and perhaps think of things they did that they should not have, or maybe things they have failed to do. It is tempting to think of these as a possible reason for your loss, but the fact is, your actions had nothing to do with it. It is very important for you to understand that God’s ultimate will includes health and happiness for everyone.

3. Feeling God as being very distant or even out of reach.
   Many report problems with prayers being unanswered. Some people are so overwhelmed they don’t even know how to pray. This is normal. God knows your prayers and is always present and listening, even when you don’t know what to say.

4. Feelings of anger at God.
   Some people are shocked, because for the first time, they feel very angry at God. Many people will tell you that it is not right to be angry with God. Anger is a natural response to an emotional injury. You have no more control over anger than you would have control over pain if you broke your arm. Anger is a sign of love in a relationship. It says, “I care.” God can handle your anger and will respond in love.

5. It is normal to think your faith could have determined the outcome of your loved ones situation.

   Your faith is an important resource. It provides strength, hope, and helps enable you to get through the process. Your faith, however, will not determine the outcome of another person’s life.

Brent Powell, M.Div.
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital
Memphis, Tennessee